I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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