Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
