And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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