Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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