I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
