I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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