Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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