We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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