i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
