I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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