Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
