do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
