You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
