yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
