i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
