That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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