I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I need moral support for this bender
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
the raccoons are back...
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