if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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