Grow some girl-balls and come out already
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
