Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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