My pussy is not your playground.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
