I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
