She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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