bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
