I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
