I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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