dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
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I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
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I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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