that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
