why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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