She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
