that's an acceptable place to lick
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
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No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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