first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You're like the curious george of whores
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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