He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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