Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Randomize
