If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
