my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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