its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
