i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
