I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
