So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
