My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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