Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is this the sara with the beer cane?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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