We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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