Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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