going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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