What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
