Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize