This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
