Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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