wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
