i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
