I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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