So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
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Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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