okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
