Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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