Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
