I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
