We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
