I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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