Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think pants incapable of making pants work
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
