he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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