dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
