Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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