girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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