We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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