I'm so fucking centered right now
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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